Burn your speeches, your instructions,
your prophecies too. In the morning when
you wake: stretch. Do not complain. Do not
set sail on someone else’s becoming, their voice
in your throat. Do not look down your nose
at a dinner party, laughing: If only they didn’t
have so many children.

Revision is necessary. The compulsory bloom.
When you emerge with crystals in one hand,
revenge in the other, remember the humble
barn swallow who returns in spring. If not
for her markings, another bird entirely.

+ Kate Baer, “Advice for Former Selves”

 

Rebirth doula work is accompaniment through any major breakthrough in your status quo. This could include, but is not limited to, divorce, faith shift or deconstruction, discovering new parts of your identity that are feeling destabilizing to your current reality. You can book a one-off appointment or series of sessions to access compassionate witness, resources, and coaching through these transformative shifts.

divorce.

Our culture barely makes room for the proper ritual and ceremony that can help us move through the physical death of a loved one, let alone the death of a life you had been building. Divorce is a unique form of loss, ushering in the grief of past, present, and future, distinctly shaped by your life’s circumstances (moving through divorce with children or alone, away from family, or with community support, for example). Like most experiences of acute grief, only those who have walked this road know the expanse of the wilderness that you are facing, the levels of isolation in a marriage-centric and obsessed society (relationally, legally, politically), and the various intersections that can add to that sense of isolation (religious background, racial identity, sexuality or gender, disability status, etc.).

Divorce support through Doors will be custom fit to your needs: it could be a one time appointment to land, process, and make a plan. It could be crafting a resource list just for you and scheduling regular check-in calls or home visits for you to move through your grief with support (a hand on your back as you scream, a painting night to craft mantras that will sustain you, logistical support in finding a mediator or discussing co-parenting schedules).

worldview deconstruction/expansion.

As a former evangelical minister, I am uniquely positioned to help folks move through the grief of changing your mind. If you are finding yourself in the destabilizing experience of your faith shifting, I would be so honored to walk through this transition with you.

“When a challenge confronts an established worldview, there is opportunity to respond and alter views so they are more resilient. By having multiple disorienting dilemmas, one becomes more comfortable with change through recognizing that there are larger realities within the world than originally held. This process is known as the self-transforming self or fourth order consciousness where one continually reforms the way one makes meaning to the extent where one moves beyond a self centered perspective.” (Jeanine Canty recasting Kegan in her paper Walking Between Worlds: Holding Multiple Worldviews as a Key for Ecological Transformation)

Examples of worldview shift support:

  • Sessions to process your grief and its implications with resource guides to expand your language for meaning-making

  • Archetypal support through tools like the enneagram, tarot, introduction to Internal Family Systems (parts work), and other modalities of connecting with unmet parts of the psyche and subconscious

  • Co-creating rituals of release and welcome as you move through paradigm and worldview shifts

  • Resources to offer support and care to the shift from dualistic/binary thinking to non-dual being

A series of self portraits inspired by Caitlin Metz’s invitation in Feel Something Make Something to draw body scans as a means of transmuting turbulent emotions. This series spanned the late fall of 2023 until mid April 2024 as I was hurdling through portals of death and rebirth, using these drawings as a way to put my shadow self and highest self in conversation with one another.


In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

+ John O’Donohue, For a New Beginning